


where'd my ahogay go? wait sHiT

by ocean_rose



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hajime and Ouma are really close, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Are Merged, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, OOC maybe, Please Kill Me, Roombas, This Is STUPID, fight me, they're all idiots, this is a literal shitpost
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:35:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocean_rose/pseuds/ocean_rose
Summary: Danganronpa Group Chat. Maybe OOC but who cares?Extract below:Satan uwu: It's called being homo you twerpBaby Shark: :000Vent Child: Can't relate.lucky roll: You literally tripped down the stairs cause Sayaka smiled at you--Vent Child: LiEs
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Shinguji Korekiyo, Enoshima Junko & Soda Kazuichi, Enoshima Junko/Matsuda Yasuke, Hagakure Yasuhiro/Kuwata Leon, Hinata Hajime & Oma Kokichi, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan, Munakata Kyosuke/Sakakura Juzo, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Nanami Chiaki/Sonia Nevermind, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 55
Kudos: 319
Collections: Purrsonal Picks





	1. #fuckingdeceased

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Hell. Drinks and snacks are free but Despair and/or Hope costs Monocoins.
> 
> Names:  
> lucky roll -Makoto Naegi  
> Homochromia Disappointment - Hajime Hinata  
> teehee me gremlin - Kokichi Ouma  
> Baby Shark - Kazuichi Souda  
> Vent Child - Mukuro Ikusaba  
> Satan uwu - Junko Enoshima

_**deceased bitches + satan** _

_[Friday, 2:03am]_

**Satan uwu** : you ever feel like going on a killing spree in a Gucci store with an OWO and UWU knife???

**lucky** **roll** : Junkooo it's 2am pls

**lucky roll** : S L E E P

**Satan uwu** : I could...BuT!

**Homochromia** **Disappointment** : wtf I uiruisdesdckxnvlkdsdknlclndse

**teehee me gremlin** : #fuckingdeceased uwu

**Baby Shark** : lmao Hajime is fine, he just slid off of my bed and onto the floor

**Vent Child** : Why is he in your room?

**Baby Shark** : spoopy movie night

**Vent Child** : Understandable.

**Vent Child** : Also fUcK yOu it only happened once ! change my name back you HeAtHeN

**teehee me gremlin** : a story i haven't heard yet?!?! tell me more!! *+*+*+

**Satan uwu** : My sister was hiding in the vents to scare Hajime but got stuck and fell through said vent

**Satan uwu** : it was fucking hilarious xDDD

**lucky roll** : but Mukuro ended up dislocating her right shoulder???

**Vent Child** : lmao i did

**Homochromia** **Disappointment** : the scariest part was watching a sugar-hyped purple gremlin barrel down the hall towards me and send me backwards through a window smh

**Baby Shark** : is that seriously how you two met?!

**lucky roll** : shame.

**Vent Child** : shame.

**Satan uwu** : shame x2 + despair :3

**teehee me gremlin:** you gays are so mean :(

**Baby Shark** : Yes.

**Homochromia Disappointment** : :(

**teehee me gremlin** : apart from hajimeme! he's so strong and grumpy and mysterious OWO but my shuichi is better <33

**Homochromia Disappointment** : shut. <3

**lucky roll** : Hajimemememe is mum confirmed?! he also has this sixth sense when one of us is sad or in trouble?!

**Satan uwu** : It's called being homo you twerp

**Baby Shark** : :000

**Vent Child** : Can't relate.

**lucky roll** : You literally tripped down the stairs cause Sayaka smiled at you--

**Vent Child** : LiEs

**teehee me gremlin** : DID SOMEONE SAY 'LIES'?!?!?! OOWOO

**Homochromia Disappointment** : It's now 3:42 how are we like this..

**Satan uwu** : despair oop--

**lucky roll** : say despair one more fucking time and i'll clock you round the back of the head with a metal chair

**Satan uwu** : whoops would you look at the time--

**teehee me gremlin** : smooth criminal _**T E E H E E**_

**Vent Child** : Would you like to keep your knees or not?

**teehee me gremlin** : whoops would you look at the time--

**teehee me gremlin** : night haji <33

**Homochromia Disappointment** : night kokichi <3

**Baby Shark** : i wish i had friends qwq

**Homochromia Disappointment** : bitch what am i? a roach? <33333333

**Baby Shark** : <3333333333

_[Friday, 5:16]_

**Baby Shark** : WHY IS THERE A ROOMBA WEILDING AN UWU KNIFE AND A FLAMETHROWER IN THE HALLWAY BUHKWUEHKEJWLS

**Satan uwu** : DESPAIR SLUTSSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


	2. bless thy pink shark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back after a day in Hospital and concerning amounts of sleep. Now let's get h O m O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names are still the same and new characters being added next chapter :3

_**deceased bitches + satan** _

_[Saturday, 23:18]_

**lucky roll** : lmao guess who's going to the hospital 💅💅

**Baby Shark** : TDIDENOXSN ARE YOU GOOD BRO?!?

**lucky roll** : my dummy thicc ass wanted to get coffee, but Taka scared the shit outta me by rounding the corner _GOD SPEED_ and shouting at me for being awake

**Baby Shark** : and?!?

**lucky roll** : i was so scared i fell down the stairs and now my leg is broken qwq so much for me being the 'ultimate lucky student'

**Homochromia Disappointment** : Hang on I'm on my way to you!

**teehee me gremlin** : I wake up to get Panta and find Eggy boy laying on the floor with a broken leg spouting vines at me and Haji breaking into the school by smashing a window

**teehee me gremlin** : for realsies though, you gucci ego?

**lucky roll** : you're sitting next to me on the floor to make me feel better

**teehee me gremlin** : so?

**lucky roll** : I mean apart from the broken leg and Taka waking up the entirety of my class and Aoi trying to comfort me, I'm A-Okay 😔👌

**Vent Child** : Shall i threaten them to leave you alone? Also my sister is passed out from drinking with a Roomba so I'll tell her tomorrow

**lucky roll** : lmao yes please <333

**lucky roll** : _[insert video of Mukuro scaring everyone away with a combat knife, the camera slowly zooms in on Hajime sprinting down the hall whilst Kokichi sings the Ratatouille song from next to Makoto]_

**Vent** **Child** : <333

**Baby Shark** : does anyone need food? i've just arrived on site with Wendy's

**lucky roll** : bless thy pink shark <33

**Baby Shark** : Where Hajime and Kokichi btw?

**teehee me gremlin** : we're both with Eggy boiii. Haji's phone is dead bread and Mukuro managed to get everyone back into their rooms apart from Mr. Strict, Rich Legs, Corn-Hair and purple Shlock.

**Vent Child** : never say Shlock ever again you monster

**Baby Shark** : wait why is Byakuya there?

**lucky roll** : don't know u///u don't care

**teehee me gremlin** : _[insert photo of byakuya togami standing next to kirigiri looking slightly concerned.png]_

**Baby Shark** : le homo snenese are tingling

**Baby Shark** : senses*

**teehee me gremlin** : no don't change it qwq it was perfect

**Vent Child** : shut and get in the ambulance if you're coming children <333

_[Sunday, 5:29]_

**lucky roll** : that moment when you're crush actually looked concerned about you

**Homochromia Disappointment** : can't relate.

**Baby Shark** : can't relate.

**teehee me gremlin** : can't relate.

**Vent Child** : can't relate.

**Satan uwu** : can't relate.

**Homochromia Disappointment** : shut the fuck up or i'll crush your skull with my dummy thicc thighs whore

_[Private Chat between 'Homochromia Disappointment' and 'teehee me gremlin']_

**teehee me gremlin:** mummmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy can you please stay in my roooom, Maki is being mean again >:(

**Homochromia Disappointment** : of course i can, omw <33  
  


 **teehee me gremlin:** thankyousomuch <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanking you for taking time out of your day to read this shit post. Feel free to comment about if you liked it or think there's something I need to change. I love constructive criticism :)  
> Love you all and stay safe  
> \- Ocean Rose


	3. leggy mcleggyson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we're back in record time like zooooom bitch 🌠 now welcome to some new characters whilst I try and juggle around placement issues also whilst I write 7 English assessments and cry 🌠

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chat, New Homos; here are their names:
> 
> • Kyoko Kirigiri - detective noodle  
> • Celestia Ludenburg - psycho cat lady  
> • Sayaka Maizono - hatsune miku  
> • Sonia Nevermind - lady killer  
> • Chiaki Nanami - bubblegum  
> • Byakuya Togami - 99% leg

_**Lesbians Feat. Legs** _

_[Saturday, 23:26]_

**psycho cat lady** : I do hope dear Makoto is alright...

 **detective noodle** : I hope so too.

 **psycho cat lady** : I must admit it was a bit of a shock being woken up so late to find our best friend at the bottom of the stairs with a broken leg.

 **lady killer** : Oh my goodness, what happened? I was busy playing games with Chiaki when I saw an ambulance pull up into the gates

 **detective noodle** : It's quiet alright Sonia. Taka gave Makoto a bit of a fright and he just fell down the stairs; nothing the hospital can't fix.

 **lady killer** : Makoto? As in that small friendly boy who's always helping others?

 **psycho cat lady** : I'm afraid so..

 **bubblegum** : that's why I thought I saw Hajime breaking into the main building

 **psycho cat lady** : Hajime? The heterochromia boy who has every talent?

 **bubblegum** : yeah, he's my best friend. he has a habit of breaking into the main building to check on his friends

 **psycho cat lady** : I would very much like to meet this Hajime, he seems like an older Makoto and if our dear small friend is anything to go by, he shall be a delight to befriend.

 **hatsune miku** : Good evening girlies and a ghosting pair of legs!!~~

 **lady killer** : Sayaka! How was rehearsals?

 **hatsune miku** : it went alright 🌠 my legs are starting to hurt though from all the jumping 😔👉👈

 **bubblegum** : damm what is it with legs today? 👀

 **detective noodle** : Don't push yourself too hard okay?

 **hatsune miku** : I'll try not to, but no promises 👉👈

 **detective noodle** : Just stay hydrated and fun :)

 **psycho cat lady** : Ms Holmes I see you are capable of emotions.

 **bubblegum** : if I leave my dorm and catch you two making out in the hallway again I'm doing to burn my eyes out with Sayaka's spinny light up wand

 **psycho cat lady** : No promises.

 **hatsune miku** : "spinny light up wand" 🤣

 **bubblegum** : hush, my lovely princess is asleep uwu

 **bubblegum** : _[insert video of Sonia holding a Switch sleep under a blanket leaning on Chiaki snoring softly, whilst animal crossing plays quietly in the background]_

 **hatsune miku:** precious bean 🌈

 **bubblegum** : my hearttttt im so in loveeeee

 **hatsune miku** : want me to drop off Starbucks? 👀

 **bubblegum** : Pleaseeeee I will literally marry you qwq

 **psycho cat lady** : How scandalous ;3

 **detective noodle** : Says the person who nearly started crying when I caught them playing Minecraft with Kokichi

 **psycho cat lady** : I will not fucking tolerate this kind of behaviour from my own fucking girlfriend

 **detective noodle** : ❤

 **psycho cat lady** : ❤

 **hatsune miku** : I'm guessing Royal Milk Tea and Cappuccino with extra chocolate for you two?? 👀

 **psycho cat lady** : If you would be so kind my dear.

 **detective noodle** : Yes thank you.

 **bubblegum** : @99% leg

 **bubblegum** : my man what do you want??

 **99% leg** : First off, what is my name?

 **99% leg** : Second, I'll have caramel frappuccino please

 **hatsune miku** : Okay homos, I'll send a message when I'm at school 🌠 bye-bye 💕

 **99% leg** : Now explain my name.

 **psycho cat lady** : You are 99% leg. It's a fact.

 **bubblegum** : leggy mcleggyson uvu

 **detective noodle** : I hate how funny and accurate it is.

 **99% leg** : You're just jealous of my amazing legs

 **detective noodle** : On behalf of everyone here: No. We're fucking not.

 **psycho cat lady** : You really need to tell Makoto your feelings Byakuya, this is getting frustrating.

 **99% leg** : Easier said than done.

 **bubblegum** : Junko will lock you two in a classroom together if you don't kiss by the end of summer

 **99% leg** : Shame.

 **detective noodle** : Sayaka just sent me a message, she's here with drinks. She'll meet us in the cafe

 **psycho cat lady** : We will get your drink don't worry Chiaki.

 **bubblegum:** thank youuuuu 💕 ack pretty goth girls are so nice 👉👈

 **99% leg:** I'll meet you down there then Miss Kirigiri?

 **detective noodle:** Loser has to dye their hair blue?

 **99%** **leg** : Deal.

 **bubblegum:** what the fuck-- ????

 **psycho cat lady:** The stakes are high and the price is higher. Gay vs Lesbain

 **psycho cat lady:** Nevermind dear, just focus on Sonia whilst I beat these two egg heads in MOTHER FUCKING HEELS!!

 **bubblegum:** man I'm glad I'm a lesbian uvu

 **hatsune miku** : [video of Byakuya and Kyoko sprinting down the hallway and Celeste zooming past in heels laughing]

 **hatsune miku** : Starbucks creates demons smh 😔

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow did you just read that?!? thank you 🌠 I love you all so very much and ya'll reading this makes this lesbian very happy uwu also for rantaro, do you prefer avocado toast or avocado soup? I'm struggling to decide
> 
> Remember, stay safe and I love you  
> \- Ocean Rose


	4. come get your homos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr Leg and Ms Detective suffer the consequences of losing the race to Ms Gambler ; There's a large cult fire in the gym ; Come get your homos because they are in trouble AGAIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh hi so I'm back baby and I've got stuff to present. I'm sorry that this is late but know this: i don't intend of just giving up on this. I love what I'm writing so much and reading your lovely comments gives me so much confidence to write better and even write more. All I can say is that I love every single one of you and I hope you are all keeping safe! <333
> 
> Also if you want me to do a DR Q/A thing like I'm down to do it.
> 
> [p.s. the whole Ace Attorney and Danganronpa war is stupid. I love both AA and DR sooooo much so just... stop fighting qwq]

_[private chat between 'psycho cat lady' and 'lucky roll']_

_[Monday, 5:57]_

**psycho cat lady** : My dear lovely Makoto, when are you and Byakuya going to finally stop flirting around one another and get together? It's exhausting darling.

**lucky roll** : when that long legged fuck boy decides to whisk me off into the sunset

**psycho cat lady** : Understandable, have a lovely day. <3

**lucky roll** : wAiT he likes me back?!

**lucky roll** : Celeste?!

**lucky roll** : CELESTIA?!?!

_**Lesbeans Feat. Legs** _

_[Monday, 6:00]_

**lady killer** : Good morning everyone, I hope you all have a wonderful day! My phone will be on all day, so if you need someone, please don't be afraid to contact me :)

**lady killer** : Also JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE FUCK!!??

**hatsune miku** : :000

**bubblegum** : :000

**99% leg** : I may have tied with Ms. Detective, but at least I still have my dignity, style and grace. This proves that, overall, I am the superior gay.

**lady killer** : Byakuya! Your hair is literally light blue!

**99% leg** : As I stated: style and grace.

**Detective Noodle** : I have to comment, it doesn't hurt my eyes as much as I thought it would.

**psycho cat lady** : Says the detective who currently has dark blue hair.

**hatsune miku** : I have a double act now?! owo

**bubblegum** : YES OMFG DO IT

**99% leg** : I'm not opposed to the idea of you two trying to trick everyone into thinking you're separated twins. You could even try and fool them into thinking this is her real hair colour.

**psycho cat lady** : My my!~ Did you just say something clever for once?

**99%** **leg:** Silence, Bottom.

**Detective Noodle** : Then it's a plan, Sayaka.

**hatsune miku** : :DDD

**lady killer** : Is this to do with the Starbucks race yesterday??? I'm afraid I was asleep, so I only able to hear my beautiful girlfriends account of the situation.

**bubblegum** : yeah celeste beat them both in her HEELS meaning she was crowned the winner

**psycho cat lady** : I've had plenty of time to practice sprinting for my life so far.

**lady killer** : Like running away from the police in heels?!

**psycho cat lady** : Precisely that my dear. Illegal gambling is a dangerous game after all.

**lady killer** : AMAZING!! :D

**psycho cat lady** : Starting tomorrow, I'll teach you to run in stilettoes.

**99% leg** : May I ask a question..?

**Detective Noodle** : No.

**hatsune miku** : of course!~

**99% leg** : Why is there a large bunch of students standing around a burning wig in the gym??

**psycho cat lady** : GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I'M LATE

**bubblegum** : note to self - always fear lesbians in heels sprinting at you down a hallway

**lady** **killer** : A true icon :')

**bubblegum** : im so confused..

**bubblegum** : WHY DO I HEAR SCREAMING COMING FROM THE GYM?!?!?!

**99% leg** : I don't know their name but they tried to tackle Junko into the fire. I instantly want to know them.

**Detective Noodle** : Well? Is she still alive?

**99% leg** : Unfortunately, yes.

**Detective Noodle** : smh what a shame.

**99% leg** : I think the mechanic in the class above us just picked up the burning wig and 'yeeted' it onto something more flammable. There is now more fire.

**hatsune miku** : I look away from my phone for a couple of minutes and what the actual hell?!

**hatsune miku** : are you just letting them burn the school down?!

**99% leg** : It's entertaining to watch.

**bubblegum** : ha ha mood <3

_[Monday, 7:30]_

**Detective Noodle** : Come get your homos from my father's office please.

**lady killer** : Who got in trouble?

**hatsune miku** : From what I saw, there's 13 students and 1 adult in trouble owo Also can I please collect Mukuro?!

**psycho cat lady** : Yes you may dear, only if there's no simping.

**bubblegum** : wait an adult?! who?!

**psycho cat lady** : Juzo Sakakura is a disaster homosexual and we love him.

**lady killer** : Oh my! Spill the tea! <3

**psycho cat lady** : He tripped over when he saw Mr. Munakata, picked up THE Junko Enoshima and shoved her in a bin, and then we all proceeded to play football with that 'Monokuma' bear plush she owns.

**hatsune miku** : Isn't that a tad bit mean..?

**psycho cat lady** : No, because she's in on the whole thing. We all know what's going to happen because we'd rehearsed it all out.

**99%** **leg** : I'm unsure whether to be afraid or join in.

**Detective Noodle** : Yes.

**Detective Noodle** : Also Byakuya is collecting Makoto from my father's office as we speak.

**bubblegum** : brb need to go collect my homos from the office <3

**hatsune miku** : oooh~ and who may they be? owo

**bubblegum** : that's a secret <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah you read this? and you want me to write more? well guess what honey?!
> 
> YOU'RE GOING TO GET MORE!! BUT IN THE MEANTIME, TAKE MY LOVE AND AFFECTION <33333333333333333333

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this or have any constructive criticism, please let me know in the comments <3  
> Love you all and please stay safe <333  
> \- Ocean Rose


End file.
